fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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