So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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