what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So apparently I’m into choking now
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
