Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
