Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
