You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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