And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I checked into jail on foursquare
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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