and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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