her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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