I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
