I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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