pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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