It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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