just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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