Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
