I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize