she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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