Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
