then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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