i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
