He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
