Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize