Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
