You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
