i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
