im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
