I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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