I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.