we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
