we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
