just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
