There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
