I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
