Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
