so that wasnt chicken after all
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
