So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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