My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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