honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
