im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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