She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
