he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How does one acquire holy water?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
