To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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