What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize