It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
