the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
