Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
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