I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
