she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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