So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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