i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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