Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
