A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
