There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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