There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
