All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
