LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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