okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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