I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
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Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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